TGI.....

It's not news that when you have a small child- your internal clock will not match the rest of the world's for at least three years.
While I was pregnant I could nap for DAYS. Lee used to work from 12pm to 1am, I worked from 8-5. Not only would I nap on my lunch break, I would come home have a bowl of cereal and crash on the couch from about 7pm to whenever Lee would get home, then drag my ever growing ass upstairs and sleep soundly until the menancing buzz of the alarm clock jilted me from my prenatal coma.
The day Hailey was born I think I got 3 hours of sleep total. The first week Hailey was born I maybe got 25 hours total, nothing consecutively just quick nods here and there. It was all we could do not to buy blackout shades and shut the world out if she actually slept a long stretch through the middle of the day. Our world blurred somewhere betweenthe Today Show, Divorce Court and that informercial with Montel Williams that looks like it could be a real show.
Now that Hailey is almost 16 months, she does sleep pretty well through the night. Her bed time is anywhere from 645pm-8pm, it depends on whether she's in the mood for Jeopardy and the Wheel... R, S, T, L, N....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... She is at the point though, where she will let me know when she's ready to unwind. It sounds like a lame sheep has wandered into our living room. Maaaaaaaaaaaa. Maaaa...MAAAAAAAAAAAAA. It's all we can do not to break out into Lady Gaga when she really gets going. But I digress...

So here we are on Friday night, and it's 8PM. This is actually "late" . The Jersey Shore kids are just waking up to start their night by this time, and at our house anything spoken above a whisper gets a shoe thrown at it. In college 2, 3 hours of sleep- AWESOME- I could totally get through final exams on that, no problem. Then in parenthood, you're grasping at the hours and praying that if you do wake up in the middle of the night you at least have 4 more hours until it's time to get up. It may make you feel like an old lady turning in to bed for the night at 930, but I'd rather feel like an old lady at 930 than a bleary eyed witch at 7AM.

Covergirl

So it is a constant thought in my brain that I should put Hailey in modeling. I watch TV and see kids in commercials and 9 time out of 10 not only do I think, but I KNOW my kid is cuter than them. I like to think that I will get around to it sometime, but then I think, what if she's good at it and then flash forward 15 years and I have a little Hailey Miley Cyrus on my hands. And I just don't have it in me to be a mom-ager. I have no desire to be in a support group with Dina Lohan and Kris Jenner, nor do I have the tan.

But Hailey is just really coming into her own right now. It's weird to think that at 15 months old, she can somewhat already tell me what she's thinking. We've already established what syllables mean what and she fully understands and usually can complete the tasks asked of her, provided you end every request with , "like a big girl." Those are the magic words. And almost everything is responded to with a kiss...or a slap in the face... we're working on appropriate timings for both. She is an absolute girl when it comes to getting ready and shopping.. She loves my makeup bag and absolutely adores a good pair of sunglasses. But then again she also likes to eat dirt and chase the dog with her toothbrush. So maybe she's just well rounded?

Everyone says you need to set firm boundaries and make sure you establish your authority, but there are times when it is hard to keep a straightface when I'm trying to do all of those. When she looks at you with a face full of spaghetti-os or when she's not so secretly sneaking dog food into her pockets, or even when she has perfect fart timing.... THAT's RIGHT I SAID IT.... fart timing. How can you get mad at her when she calls for your attention in the middle of an argument with your spouse and she just rips it.... again, Lee has never been prouder.

There's Really No Excuse.

I would like to say that I have some super awesome excuse for not jotting down my thoughts since... when was it... OCTOBER? FAIL! Sorry. Raising a spider monkey of a child is no excuse for not having time to unload my topsy turvy brain on to a public internet site. Ok so... REWIND.... I'll go with the abridged version.

Halloween:
My sister and I had the great idea of dressing the dogs and Hailey as Alice in Wonderland. So one trip to Target and I had everything I needed ( naturally). Excpet when I went to put Hailey in her adorable little costume, it got stuck. Not the zipper... no no... the dress got stuck on Hailey's head. So much so I had to CUT.IT.OFF. So scratch that idea. So now the dogs are from Alice in Wonderland and Hailey is a make shift ballerina. The cutest darn thing I ever pulled off. It made me want to rush her to a ballet studio.

Hailey's First Birthday:
Pretty much your typical first birthday, all grown ups and high hopes of cake smashing... She had absolutely no interest in the cake and cried, and I mean CAH-RIED when we sang happy birthday to her. It wasn't until her presents came that she somewhat calmed down. As demonstrated in the photos below.

Thanksgiving:

Ok now this actually went off a lot smoother than any other event. Through Hailey's first year we kept meat pretty much out of the picture. I'm not a vegan or a commune farmer or anything, I just felt that since I breastfed her exclusively the first year and she ate nothing but heaps upon heaps of leafy greens that she'd turn out ok. I also was none to excited for that particular type of diaper change. Anyhoo... so as we sat down to the turkey table with Hailey's little high chair tray full of all the delectable fare that is Thanksgiving dinner I awaited her first choice. Her hand grazed over the sticky rolls, the potatoes, and the green beans... and she went straight for the HAM. Lee had never been prouder. *** she did however devour the spinach souffle... most of her ham went to the dogs***

(I will save a separate post for CHRISTMAS)

NEW YEARS:
Who are we kidding, we were all asleep by 9:30, and no that is NOT lame. This is Vegas- people treat this town like New Years all year long- I can debauch anytime...

And now we are just about to approach Valentine's Day, which will sadly be spent on a plane to Fargo ( yes that Fargo; yes I have seen the movie, yes they really talk like that and yes I'm aware it is currently in a tundra state) but we will be going for Lee's grandmother's funeral. She passed away on Thursday and will be sorely missed. So as we remember to celebrate US on Valentine's Day, we remember to love those who loved others to make our lives possible and send our thoughts and prayers to the Soderling family.

Margaret Soderling (1930-2011)

What ever happened to Baby Hailey...

So posting religiously is a little hard when you're a convert to Toddlerism....yes that's right, Hailey is toddler-ing. I KNOW! I KNOW! Where/how/WHEN did that happen?

Where to even start???! I think last I left off, I was only complaining about Hailey getting teeth! Well, now she has four, count them FOUR FULL teeth... but most importantly, Miss Hailey is now, wait for it.... WALKING. It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. And although it's more like the Michelin Man waddle, she's pretty quick when she wants to be. I long for the days when I could leave her resting on the floor in her Boppy pillow and fix dinner, or do my hair... or just have a singular train of thought... now it's "Hailey! Get down from the couch!" or "No Hailey! Get out of the fish tank!" WHILE fixing dinner or doing my hair.

She really has grown into her own little person, she now has enough hair for two pigtails, instead of just her little Pebbles hairdo- and funny enough it really makes her look older, not Jon Benet Ramsey pagaent hair older, but she could definitely pass for a strong silent two year old..... and she has grown quite a love for Mommy's mint flavored lipgloss...eating it moreso than wearing it.

But perhaps the best part of Hailey getting closer to one year old is that, Lee is finally finding his place in our little equation. Having a more interactive child has turned Lee into SuperDad and you can just read it all over Hailey's face and to be honest, it's starting to hurt my feelings. I can feel the time is closely upon us where I will slowly take second fiddle and Lee will be the star player. Especially if Hailey keeps up her little daredevil routines, like scaling the gates that keep her off the staircase or climbing the toddler slide at the park with those handy dandy rubber shoe/socks. Dads are always more fun to toddlers and I guess I'll just have to live with it.

So here we are almost a year into parenthood and we're all still standing relatively unscathed..... but we still have to get through the birthday party with the live flame only inches from Her Majesty's grasp... I'll keep you posted... hopefully a little more regularly... knock on wood

Watch out... she's loaded....

Whoever said "there's no use crying over spilled milk," was never a nursing mother.. I've kept it no secret that I plan to breastfeed at least until Hailey's 1st birthday, it was a choice I made way before that awkwardly pressured conversation between you and the Lactation Consultant at the hospital. You know the one... a small elderly woman comes into the room, always wearing small reading glasses and pristine white sneakers... as she assembles your hospital swag bag, she peers over her glasses and asks, "and just how long do you plan to breastfeed?" wait.... I know this one.... um, as long as possible before it gets all Norman Bates-ish? DING DING DING! "Good Answer," she says and hands you your goodies.... what do the women that say " no thanks I like my nipples the way they are, thanks" get? Probably a slap in the face. This lady doesn't look like she plays around.
Anyhoozles... nursing has been the most rewarding, challenging, wonderful, annoying but satisfying experience for me. My little Hailey has become a jubilant bundle of chub, I lost ALL my baby weight ( definitely still have some toning to do but hey....) and the girls look AH-MAZING if I do say so myself... but nursing does take a lot out of you.... Half the time I fall asleep with the baby after I nurse her... and sitting alone in a room with a breastpump for 20 minutes at a time four times a day when I'm away from her isn't as fun as you think it could be.
So the days that I work and I am away from my darling cherub I make sure that there are at least two 5 oz bottles to hold her off until I see her at lunch time, and while I'm away I pump to make enough for the afternoon...etc.... the last words that are ever spoken from myself to Lee when he leaves me are "DON'T FORGET TO PUT THE MILK IN THE FRIDGE!!!" This is usally met with a scoff and "I KNOW!"
Yet.... on more than one occasion.... I have come home to see two completely FULL bottles resting on top of the diaper bag... that have now been sitting out...for hours.... that to me....is the most awful thing to see when I get home.... Hailey could have taken red paint to the carpet.... the dog could have crapped in my shoes..... but no... there it is... my hard work....wasted. And worse I have to now wake up twice in the middle of the night to pump... and my husband cannot understand how I could hold him responsible.... he didn't know.... he was too busy making sure she didn't roll away in the stroller at Bass Pro Shop... What if she got into the catfish tank? Or knocked over the taxidermied antelope.... He had to focus all of his male brain cells on preventing those catastrophies so he can't possibly be expected to remember to put his wife's breastmilk, his daughter's food, his saving grace for a fussy baby, in the fridge.

Don't get me wrong, my husband is an extraordinary father and considering he has absolutely ZERO infant experience, he has been pretty kick-ass at his role as the day care provider... and I wouldn't be myself if I wasn't complaining about SOMETHING. But when it comes to the fruits of my labor I get a little touchy when they are left to spoil in the hot car, or forgotten in the depths of the diaper bag.

Back from the Land of Nod

It's been quite a while since I have been able to sit down without the spider monkey that is my daughter glued to my hip.
Hailey is 7 months old today- and again.... the swiftness of time passing has left me with my hair blown sideways. Where does it go? Not only that, when did this small helpless being become a wobbly, wiggly mobile machine? EVERYTHING is in her mouth now.... toys, my hair, her FEET...yes her feet.... but most notably there are TEETH in there!!!! Last month I celebrated her half year mark with an ice pack on my left boob after that revelation. SWEET!
But the biggest development for our house is that she is almost mobile. She is pulling and reaching and doing everything if she could just get that little tush in the air she'd be motoring right out the front door. This development is two-fold, it's remarkable to see the progress made right in front of your eyes- like a real life evolutionary diagram playing out in our living room- BUT this means that we have to sprout another pair of eyeballs to stay one step ahead of her. All of a sudden that spare change you leave on the coffee table is now a potential choking hazard for Little Miss Sticky Fingers. And poor Lucy will actually have to go on a feeding schedule so she can't share her food.
Now that we're on a regular schedule, I finally feel ready to put her in her own bed. She is starting to sleep a little heavier now and I'm starting to tire of waking up to a whack in the face every few hours. So tonight is the first night of our second try with a crib. We made one effort before- which only lasted a few hours and at her slightest whimper I swooped in and assumed the cuddle position in less than 45 seconds. But I know if we don't get her in her own room more often, by the time our next baby comes we'll be screwed.
So with the monitor on and both Hailey and Lee asleep in their respective rooms, here I sit. And people let me tell you. I have no clue what to do with myself. I know some people would be screaming "GET SOME SLEEP" or throw out simple suggestions of catching up on things around the house... but I have found myself just pacing the upstairs hallway... bouncing back and forth between the echoing snores of the father and the soft sleepy whines of the baby...

Finding Our Groove

so it's only been a month since i have time to sit and write.... nothing like following through with commitment... anyways...

so i finally feel that we have somewhat of a schedule... *GASP* only took 5 months to get around to making one of those. so here goes:

up and moving no later than 630AM
breakfast by 830AM
lunch and nap by 1PM
queen of all crankiness by 4PM
dinner 6PM
wind down and asleep by 8PM

and somewhere in between all of those you can guarantee there is a trip to Target. I think Hailey believes we live there. Because there are times when we are out and about through the day while she is napping and she will wake up with a look of great concern as is "wait.... where am I and why am I strapped to this chair?" the only exception being when we are in Target. Honestly, she will open her eyes, and it's like... "red cart..... smell of popcorn.... and that gentle lullaby of the price scanner... RIGHT, TARGET... looks like I'm getting new clothes...wake me up when we get to the car."
I am fortunate enough to have a child who already understands that while in public, we're on our best behavior, at least until freshman year of college and she forms a relationship with Jose Cuervo. It really is wonderful how agreeable she is to coming and going wherever we need to be throughout the day. She is RARELY fussy in front of company, it is my sincere belief that during that time she has a direct conversation with each one of my friends uterus coaxing it to produce a friend for her. She is generally happy to be anywhere but home as it feeds her need to be constantly included in every aspect of mine or Lee's day. But this facade she puts on for company works to my disadvantage as well... because NO ONE will believe me when I say that she kept my up all night, or that she can reach octaves so high that I'm pretty sure my body has started to over produce ear wax as a self defense mechanism.

And maybe she isn't SO bad, but being our first baby, we have nothing to compare her to. So here me out world, unless you come and sit in my living room between 4-6 PM every night to witness it yourself, TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. H-A-I-L-E-Y spells FUSSY.

"Is she generally a happy baby?"
"Yes, but she has her moments..."
"Oh, I can't believe that, look she's smiling at me."
"She's not smiling at you, she's talking to your uterus, gathering her minions for world domination."

So It Begins...

Hailey had her 4 month check up a few weeks ago, and we got the OK to start cereal and stage 1 jar foods. Oh my gosh we were so excited, we actually waited outside Babies R Us until it opened just to run in and get cereal ( I am aware you can get it anywhere, but we bought her a jumperoo too... and there's just something about getting everything from the baby store... makes it seem more official...?)
Anyways.... the first experience was unsuccessful. She had no idea what to make of the whole spoon situation and could not figure out what I was attempting to drape her with this huge bib. After a few tries, we just started putting it in her bottle, and she GOBBLED it up...and she SLEPT and SLEPT and SLEPT all night. Not even fidgeting or anything.... you know like that good Thanksgiving day nap that is just AMAZING? Like that.
Then we started sweet potatoes and carrots... not a huge success either, but I've been told it takes a few tries to see what they'll eat on a regular basis. But Lee let her suck on part of an apple, and she loved it. She now whines at anyone eating an apple in a 30 ft radius. Part of me wanted to throw a shoe at him for giving her fruit- doesn't he know that our child will never eat vegetables now!! That's all everyone ever told us, don't give them fruits...they'll never eat the veggies... but the majorityof me was so excited to see her love something so much... especially something nutritious.
I have this fantasy that she will love all fruits and veggies and be just the most gorgeous creature... and she'll just be perfect and never go through that awkward pudgy phase of 5th grade because all she ate was peanut butter chocolate chip sandwiches ( I'm only speculating here... I swear). I digress... I don't think I'll get that lucky... especially when my husband is begging me to make him a milkshake at 1030PM... and him being her primary care giver during the day... my hopes aren't too high for her to want carrots over french fries.
Regardless... she is now even more adorable covered in orange mush... and the reality that I don't stand a chance against her adorableness is becoming more apparent everyday....

Bring It....*GROAN*

Since Hailey was born, and we had those late nights and even earlier mornings...to say we saw a lot of infomercials is an understatement. I actually had my favorites, I wouldn't let Lee change the channel because I HAD to watch Sue make 9 different dinners using the Easy Xpress 101...( and Snicker's Surprise Cake too? GET OUT! It can't be done! Oh yes it can!)
Anyways, the past four months I have also seen infomercials for a little program called P90X. And.... I BOUGHT IT.
This is how they get you... they have every possible scenario play out on the screen... the guy who has diabetes who had to change his lifestyle or DIE... the ex-Marine who got a little to comfortable when he got married...and finally... the new mom who just didn't have time to go too the gym....DING DING DING! WE HAVE WINNER!!!!

Well, we tried it and it's HARD. It's the simplest moves and nothing terribly difficult... but when you're muscles are sitting under a layer of jelly like mine... it gets the flubber jiggling. And it's all about the repetition... holy lord... 400 core moves in 15 minutes.... PHEW! I'm sweating just writing about it. I have high ambitions to do it everyday, but I know that is not going to happen. But now I have a tool to help me when I DO get the time. I'll tell you one thing though, if..and I mean IF we do decide to have another baby, hopefully I won't have to sit on my ass for the first trimester again so I can keep my hopefully newly trimmed figure..

notice all the hopefullys...

All Aboard!

So the wonderful part of Hailey getting older is her sleeping through most of the night....there are other wonderful things but this...this is the wonderfulest. If she sleeps, I get to sleep and that equals non-microwaved dinners and clean underwear for everyone! Wahoo!
But here I will make an admission that has been getting mixed reviews...

I let Hailey sleep in bed with me....

Now hear me out. I am still nursing and it is soooooo nice to just roll over and nurse her when she starts to fuss. Thus I avoid the piercing howl of a screaming, empty-bellied baby and don't have to drag my sleepy butt down the hall. I have been trying to get her to sleep in the pack & play next to our bed off and on since she's been born, and we usually can get her to stay there for a good 4 hours at a time, but usually around 1AM she is fussy, and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit up with her and lose out on my sleep when I can just as easily tuck her in next to me and hop back on the Dreamland Express. I know, I know... " she'll never learn to be independent.." I don't plan on letting her sleep with us until she's 14, just until she starts having uninterrupted sleep more regularly.
But I will admit the hardest part isn't for her, it's for me. The times when she does sleep in her bed, it's almost a lonely feeling. Yes, I am still comforted with a 200lb man and a 15lb dog (yes, i know... it IS crowded....but mind your business) but something about not having her tiny hand resting across my bosom (yes... BOSOM) leaves me a little empty sometimes. I know I should be rejoicing, and sprawling across the mattress and breaking out the down comforters- and my sleep if more restful sans baby- but after 9 months of always having someone with you, it's hard to kick the habit. You know how some people have conditioned themselves to fall asleep to white noise, or the tv.... well mine is the soft purr of a congested nose followed by an ever softer sigh of one little girl surrendering to the Sand Man.
And if i have to buy her one of these when she's older...so be it...