All Aboard!

So the wonderful part of Hailey getting older is her sleeping through most of the night....there are other wonderful things but this...this is the wonderfulest. If she sleeps, I get to sleep and that equals non-microwaved dinners and clean underwear for everyone! Wahoo!
But here I will make an admission that has been getting mixed reviews...

I let Hailey sleep in bed with me....

Now hear me out. I am still nursing and it is soooooo nice to just roll over and nurse her when she starts to fuss. Thus I avoid the piercing howl of a screaming, empty-bellied baby and don't have to drag my sleepy butt down the hall. I have been trying to get her to sleep in the pack & play next to our bed off and on since she's been born, and we usually can get her to stay there for a good 4 hours at a time, but usually around 1AM she is fussy, and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit up with her and lose out on my sleep when I can just as easily tuck her in next to me and hop back on the Dreamland Express. I know, I know... " she'll never learn to be independent.." I don't plan on letting her sleep with us until she's 14, just until she starts having uninterrupted sleep more regularly.
But I will admit the hardest part isn't for her, it's for me. The times when she does sleep in her bed, it's almost a lonely feeling. Yes, I am still comforted with a 200lb man and a 15lb dog (yes, i know... it IS crowded....but mind your business) but something about not having her tiny hand resting across my bosom (yes... BOSOM) leaves me a little empty sometimes. I know I should be rejoicing, and sprawling across the mattress and breaking out the down comforters- and my sleep if more restful sans baby- but after 9 months of always having someone with you, it's hard to kick the habit. You know how some people have conditioned themselves to fall asleep to white noise, or the tv.... well mine is the soft purr of a congested nose followed by an ever softer sigh of one little girl surrendering to the Sand Man.
And if i have to buy her one of these when she's older...so be it...

Efficiency

One thing I have come to realize as a new mom is that time is.... I want to say time is money, but that's not right.... time is... PRECIOUS. It's amazing how quickly you can clean your home, cook dinner, grocery shop....etc.... when you know you only have a two hour napping window to work with. My personal best so far has been: unload groceries, start dinner, organize pantry, started laundry and unloaded dishwasher. Ok... dinner was from the crock pot and all that was in the dishwasher was Tupperware BUT STILL.... it counts.

However, the one thing I have failed to realize is that the entire world does not know I have a 4 month old. If she is not with me, no one holds the door or lets me cut in line at Target.... which... no one has to do anyways.... but it's been very nice to know that there are people in the world who understand the value of a quiet shopping experience with a baby. At the same time, it makes me have terrible thoughts about the people WHO DO NOT CARE....regardless of the fact that they are one of the few people in the universe my family has not memo'd that I have birthed a small human who very well could be the future cover model for People's Most Beautiful People Issue.

I now have very little patience for people who are inefficient with their time..which in turn makes them HUGE wasters of my time. And what's worse is that I became a mother when snotty 16 year old jerks took over the work force. I now have to wait for over pierced, sulking Janie to finish her text messaging before I can politely tell her she gave me the wrong amount of change back. Waiters, grocery clerks, post office employees beware. If I come into your place of employment BE PREPARED TO DO YOUR JOB! LIKE.... NOW! I think I will just make myself a shirt that says " I have a small child waiting on me at home with an inexperienced husband and if you do not hand over my KFC snacker in the next 13 seconds I will shoot milk at you and squish your face in the drive thru window. " (nice ring to it, don't you think?)

But I digress.... Time is Precious.... so much more valuable than you ever thought. Not only is my day completely controlled by Hailey's digestive system, I'm afraid if I take my eyes off her I'll miss out on something completely necessary to my mommy mental scrapbook..which does make it hard to drive sometimes. I must tell her six times a day "I will remember you JUST like this forever..." 16 weeks have somehow slipped through my fingers and now I have a 4 month old in 6 month clothes and size 2 diapers....*sigh*