So I've returned to work after 9 glorious weeks of SAHM status....and gosh I wish I didn't have to.... can't someone just pay me to stay home and stare at my little girl? That'd be great....but alas... there's a mortgage to pay....so here I am back at work with Hailey at my side. My boss was gracious enough to let me bring her to work until she requires too much attention... (thanks Papa Joe :) ) It's hard though. I need to focus on work and patients, but all I (and everyone else in the office) want to do is stare at every little movement....every facial expression... *sigh*
A few days, Lee has taken her for part of the day so I can actually get SOMETHING done at the office, and when he does.... I MISS HER SO MUCH... is that terrible? It's only for a matter of 3 or 4 hours, but I worry. (I can hear my mother doing the "I told you so" song) Yes, she's with her dad, not with a 19 year old nanny that seems to be ever present in Las Vegas... he loves her and would fight to the ends of the earth for her happiness...but it's different I guess.
When she's with me, she doesn't get bottles, she gets the good stuff, 98.5 degrees just the way she likes it... she doesn't have to settle for cold milk or that stupid bottle....it's just not the same. I know that she won't cry for very long because I can give her the comforting that she needs by just breastfeeding.... which I have mentioned is the best part of nursing... FAR LESS fussy time...
I guess that is really the only REAL difference between being with mom and being with dad... boob vs. bottle... but at the same time it's not... does this make any sense?
Being the mom, or a woman in general, I anticipate her needs and prepare for them, while men just "wait and see." I guess it's the fundamental difference between men and women in every aspect of life, but now that there is a physical being affected by Mars vs. Venus, it's sooooo much more obvious to me....
Being away from her during the day for those few short hours just makes my heart swell with love (my chest too...but that's another post all together) when Lee walks in the door with her. I want to smother her with kisses as if she has been on a deserted island for weeks...God help me when she goes to kindergarten...let alone college- oh GOD I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT!!! When I see her and she gives me that gummy little smile I just want to melt like a snowball in Phoenix....wouldn't you?
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